Love letters


Part 1


Love,

I am glad I met you when I met you; not a moment too soon or a moment too late.  The night when I swiped right for you, was the same night I had decided to give up on love. Then the notification came and I was surprised that you -tall dark and handsome you- were interested in my broken self.

It might have not been obvious to you at the time, but I was broken. I gathered the courage to ask for your number because heck, there was no other piece left in me to break! Without a pinch of judgement you offered…and the rest was history. A couple of smiley faces later, I was convinced you will regret me but  I took a leap of faith and silenced my skepticism on matters of the heart. I dove right in, head first no heart.

A couple of days later I was in your sheets, ready to give you my  broken self and all. I was going to offer you my body! Because that is what people who meet on social media do! Not because I wanted to…again, head first, no heart.

Your gentle touch corrected my misunderstood expectations, as you asked what I want.  In that moment I realised, I am used to men who take and take from me, never asking, just collecting! Sometimes even beyond what I offer. I was shocked at the fact that you were listening to me, feeling me out before filling me in…and stoping exactly when I asked you to- without asking why!

You made me feel safe with you!  You became the definition of the man I want but never knew I needed. However, we both knew this was a temporary arrangement because soon enough, you would want more than a broken hearted girl and me more than a fixer. It’s about time I take my leave. I am sad I can’t be with you longer, but I am grateful I met you at the time that I did. You literally saved my life as thoughts of taking my own life had crossed my mind before you walked in to my life!

In another life arrangement, I would have you if you would have me.

I bid you farewell. I hope I meet you again, happy and loved, because you deserve all the love you showed me and more.

From Imara with love.

Dedication:

  • Chapter 3: The Hatchet by Jennah Bell

  • When Love Arrives by Sarah Kay and Phil Kaye

Bernie Mshana

Love, this is a life, not a lifestyle blog. You’ll find here tales of my clothes making, intentional living, chai drinking, feminist thinking Afrikan life. Welcome, and read on.

https://berniemshana.com
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Imagined love